‘‘Have you ever felt so smart in your life Jack?’’ asked Mitchell. ‘‘It all adds up now. The murderer used the the old bridge to get down to the jetty where the boat was and rowed along the river to get to the house. Then when he got to the house he murdered the owner and used his dog to find clues for where the key was hidden. Now we just need to find out if he found the key or not’’
‘‘and if he didn’t then we still have a chance to go to the house and find out what it unlocks and what the letter under it says,’’ added Jack.
‘‘Now we just need to find clues of how he got down to the bridge and if the boat is still there’’ suggested Jack. ‘‘Let’s go and just hope we don’t run into a trap’’.
‘‘When we get there do you think it will be safe to cross or not’’ ? Jack asked .
‘‘I guess we’re about to find out. The two walked slowly across the old creaking bridge. SNAP the ropes holding the bridge up had broken. Jack and Mitchell went plummeting down in to the river below. SPLASH The two boys had hit the water and sank under. Luckily they were able to struggle up to the surface and swim to a little sandbank, The boys lay there on the sand breathing rapidly.
‘‘I knew that bridge wasn’t safe Mitchell,’’ panted Jack.
‘‘Sorry Jack I should of listened,’’ Mitchell replied feeling sorry.
‘‘Well it wasn’t a complete failure,’’ whispered Jack well pointing at a little wooden boat next to them that was hidden in a bush. The two sighed with relief.
‘‘So we’re not stuck down here forever?’’ Mitchell asked feeling good.
‘‘Well we better get going,’’ Jack explained trying to get up.
‘‘This may sound silly Jack but can we stay here a bit longer I really need to catch my breath I’m exhausted,’’ Mitchell tiredly asked like he had been holding his breath for a whole month.
‘‘Ok but not too long we’ve got a mystery to solve a big mystery. After half an hour the two set off again on their major mystery but there worries weren’t over they were just beginning.....
By Zach.H & edited by Giorgio.B
Level 3/4
This is avery well developed mystery fantasy. Great attention to detail nand you are developing effective use of speech marks. I enjoyed wondering what was going to happen next.
Next steps - Careful attention to punctuation
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